I ♥ Music

Saturday, October 27, 2007,12:55 AM

our paths just didn't cross on that night. i tried calling her but she didn't receive any. she tried calling me but i didn't receive any. and she was there too. when i went out, she went off to cheers. when i was at the bridge, she was outside the club. it was really not meant to be, man. i was so sad.

off to club again tonight. checking out the scene. halloween's. lucky got buddies. lol. and there's night bus too tonight. easier for me. but at the same time, i don't feel like going either. i don't know. i need to get my laboratory reports and tutorials done, man. and now i got cca commitments too. so most of my time will be in school. geez.

i need to get things done. asap.

Thursday, October 25, 2007,1:29 PM

i don't know why fiza blew up on me on tonight's event. never she blew up on me before. i don't know what was her reason. but i thank her. thanks to her that i get to hang with my other group of friends. i'm still high. trying to sober up now. so damn funny when i got drunk. i got to know a friend that i used to know a while long ago.

over all, it made me realise that guys in the club ain't worth my time. be it for long term or even flings. its just not my thing. maybe they just don't fit my bill, i guess. not that i demand alot. just that.. there's nothing. i'm still high but still sane while typing this, really. i don't know why but i just kept thinking about that friend of mine. he was on my mind all the time through out the night. be it sane or drunk or sober. i still think of him now. maybe just the way he talk to me that i feel that he treats me like a person. someone that i believe i can click with for real.

i can't believe i passed my number to a skinny tall jongang dude. he was only till primary school like what the fuck. cross my heart we will never think alike. NEVER. he said he'll message me. i'll just keep myself busy with school work and dance. i can't be bothered with this kinda things. and oh. i made new friendsss too. literally, friendssss. i burped like toads crying for a rainy night too. but i freaking don't care. went out of the place like 3.15. sat and smoke till i believe i can walk straight again for the next half an hour. took a cab home. should i even go this sat? this event just made me realise what a waste of time it has just been for me. fun is fun. but after that, its nothing that sticks to my memories for real. not that something when i grow old, i'lll be chatting about. no. never will it happen.

i'm so stoned. sleepy. i will just knock out after this.

nurul, i got your back. its nothing you should be ashamed off. motvated me to work EXTRA EXTRA hard ok!

thanks.

love.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007,4:09 AM

what do i want in life?
why am i so unmotivated to push?
i'm having all the luxuries i need and so deep in my comfort zone. is that why i don't feel the need to work hard for my own good because i believe i am at my best in my life already?
am i too protected?
sacrifice. a word that is heavy with memories and meanings. makes me feel emotional every single time i think deep into it.

i need to find out what i want in my life. for my future.

but what?