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Friday, April 25, 2008,9:56 AM

2nd day audition was interesting and very well organized. i like the group me, nora, idah and jester were handling (group 4).. many potentials, i must say. energetic and sporting. i like!

during the showcases of the junior audition, it made me think of what i'm worth in dancing. i'm not good enough. even during teaching, when i look in the mirror, i look horrendous. how this FAT BLOB can actually dance. i bent down, swing my hand over and stuff - doing the choreography.. when i look at myself move, i just felt disgusted and my confidence just ran down.

this self-insecurity had been in me as i was growing up. it seems like its not going to fade away. with that, i just feel sad deep inside. whenever i'm on my own to think all these, this feeling just start to eat me up and i will be even more miserable than before.

with the school work and studying going on, it gets even more lethargic to dance.

since dad is working later, mom will be left alone at home again. i hate to leave her alone, really. i know how it feels like when there's no one around and the only company i have is the TV and house chores. i hope i won't end late tomorrow.

and sometimes, matters of the heart should just be kept inside the heart itself.

i need to be saved from myself.




Wants

+ Miss Dior Cherie perfume
+ Slender figure
+ Smarter, thinkable brain
+ Dorothy Perkins' Jeans


Me








April 12th
suckerin’suckatash!
nyp-scl(c)
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