I ♥ Music

Friday, June 20, 2008,10:13 PM

wounded but moving on. no choice. have to move on.

have things to look forward to. new cupboard and mirror from ikea tomorrow.
cable guys drilling the wall. new SCV and telephone ports. so noisy. blog first before continue studying. have yet to hunt for sofa. hee!

mere smiles are still possible but i'm not on my happy peak.

so was in ikea yesterday to make orders for tomorrow's cupboard. was choosing mirror and i wanted that huge one. that huge one that make me feel insecure of my physical self once again. oh my wide ass.

in the end, settled for a smaller than the one i eyed for. oh the new flooring is great too :) white instead of wood brown.

i LOVE this kitty video. so damn funny!!!!!!

http://www.videotiger.com/scaredjumpycatvideo.shtml

lol.

Thursday, June 19, 2008,10:57 AM

2am. blogged about 4 hours ago.

been crying my eyes out for the past 2 and half hours.

how could i've been so blind?
it hurts. i'm just weak. and it hurts alot.

tried to read my notes but in the end, the notes were staring at me instead.

it hurts till my chest aches with sharp pains.
why must it be so hard for me?
i never ask for his material things. i just wanted his time and attention. why must it be so difficult?

it hurts.

,6:26 AM

sunset from parents' bedroom

i have made up my mind.

i have decided to take carebear out of my heart. get him out of my life. because carebear ain't as caring as i thought he was.

reasons:

i only met him once through out the 4 months we started to get serious
never chatted on the phone
text messages.. restrict to 1-3 per day unless we squabble
he will always be busy with tuition
he's too tired
i don't feel like he's looking forward to me

i am of no importance to him. i'm like his call girl. his spare tire. he disappointed me. TWICE.

i don't deny he is a nice guy. he is near to perfection. but the only flaw is that he is selfish. extremely selfish.

it breaks my heart.

but heck, i am already moving on and there are people who sincerely cares about me more than he does.

its time for uncaringbear to go.

bye, bye.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008,6:04 PM

so i've shifted house twice in three weeks. out from serangoon north and temporarily into my sister's place in bedok south. had my hair dyed reddish on the last day there before shifting to pasir ris. which was like 2 days ago.

third day in pasir ris.

the view i get living on the 12th floor. fantastically windy too. will get to see planes flying around. no kidding. some were close enough to even know what kinda airline it is. usually i see SIA and Qantas (their planes are red in colour, right?).

i love this neighbourhood. somehow i feel all at home and welcomed already. oh, and the fact that there are many cats around. fat, fluffy and fuckingcute! (trying to make all 3 words start from F)

waiting for mom to bring back breakfast before i head to school to do line-tracing and continue pharma report. i haven't even started studying. frankly, i'm pissed scared. but i never seem to do anything about it. makes me even more double-pissed scared.

haven't met carebear for 3 weeks. squabbled with him over the weekend. i'm the one who started it. its frustrating. having a boyfriend is like not having a boyfriend. i don't know if we can work things out. what more now we are from end to end of singapore. traveling will be such a pain in the ass. now, i really (X10) don't know if we can work things out. *sigh
why must relationships be so hard? utterly saddens me. :(

traveling time to school almost doubled the time from my serangoon north. from 12 mins to 20 mins.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

but its better to travel from pasir ris compared to bedok south. i didn't clock the time when i went to school from bedok south but it sure felt like forever.

FB camp (more of reggae, actually) last week was fun. even though i stayed 2 days 1 night instead of 3 days 2 nights. was just too shagged, i couldn't take it. the next day, my whole body was so stiffened that it seriously ached like crap.

met new nieghbourhood friend last night. Elliot. went across the street to have bubble tea and walked around. he checked out my Little One and i checked out his VFR 800 and Getz. got bird shit on his bike still don't wanna wipe it off. wah lau. damn ah pek lor. laughed alot and we had cheeks and jaw cramps. shall take picture next week. he owes me subway. staying just few blocks away from me. how cool, right?